Kimberly Eckert – Eckert Psychology & Education Centre

“Little Adult Syndrome” – We are certain that kids have more skills than they do.

Kimberly wants to help parents slow down and let kids be kids.

Brain Maturation

- By 12-13 years of age all the things needed to mature the brain are there.
- Growth rate of the corpus callosum changes with age all the way into our 30’s.
- The brain is finally done growing up by 25 – 30 years of age.
- It takes a long time to be a wise decision maker.
- Parenting (behavior teaching) is a constant barrage of social cuing because the brain is still developing.

1. Expect to cue frequently over the same repeated material.
- Remind yourself of their age when you get frustrated. This will help calm you down.

2. Mixed Feelings
- You need to know your child’s ability to handle two emotions at once that are not complimentary. For example, anger and calm. Calm gives you the capacity to pull away from anger and towards calm.
- Kids though, can only feel one emotion at a time.
- Need to introduce the second emotion to help them calm down.
- This is a developmental skill – need to be 7 years old or older to hold onto two emotions.
- Need to help them see the second emotion.
- When we get intensely emotional, we lose access to our “smarts”; hard to make wise decisions when we are mad, anxious, etc.

3. Time
- Kids don’t comprehend time the way we do.
- Their expectations of time sometimes come across to us as misbehaving. They just know about “now”.
- Ages 5 – 9 are still very rooted in the here and now and therefore have a poor ability to plan for the future.
- For them, if it’s not happening now, it’s not going to happen.
- Remind yourself that this is a problem of the child not knowing the passing of time.
- Kids do understand that as something is getting smaller, time is decreasing.
- Draw out a time line horizontally and put in activities along the line. Show them this to help them understand the passage of time.

Bottom line – Kids are not done developing and their immaturity limits them to doing things we do very well. Put on your glasses that help you see their developmental limitations to help you be more compassionate and patient in your response.
Your kids need you – teaching is what discipline is all about rather than punishment.

Karla Heinz – Nutrition with K

- Nutritionist and author of “Picky - Not Me Mom”

- 150 years ago the average age of puberty (girl’s first period) was 16.6 years old.
- 1920 -14.6 years, 1980 – 13.9 years, 2007 – 12.2 years.
- Boys – 1% reached sexual maturity by 8 years old, now it is 7%.

Why is this changing?

1. Children’s bodies are different today – More fat on their bodies, therefore more estrogen which signals the body to go into reproductive state. In 2004, 26% were obese or overweight.
2. Fitness level – Canada has got an “F” for activity level three years in a row.
3. Xenoestrogens – We are exposed to more that ever before. This mimics the effects of Estrogen and is found in pesticides (Grapes have the most pesticides and shouldn’t be bought unless organic) and skin products containing Paraben. What you put on your body gets absorbed into our blood stream.
4. Hormones – The bigger the animal the more natural hormones being produced (ie. estrogen). When we eat animals larger than us we are getting more natural hormones. Farmers in Canada can use three synthetic growth hormones on their animals to allow them to gain weight faster. Look at the type of beef you buy; should be free range or grain fed as these tend to be safer. Organic is the safest bet with beef.

- Our bodies are designed so as our cells with duplicate allowing us to live to 120 years, but this doesn’t happen due to the damage done to our tissues.
- Need to eat more raw whole plants.
- For children not getting enough fruits and veggies, consider a whole food supplement not exposed to any form of pasteurization.

Q & A

1. If Paraben has been used in the past, can your body get rid of it?
Karla: The best thing is to start from now. One thing to consider is probiotics and foods such as kale, broccoli, cauliflower and brussel sprouts. They can make a big difference to your body.

2. Buying non organic and washing foods to remove pesticides.
Karla: Washing only removes about 30% of the pesticides from the outside. Don’t worry about buying frozen fruits and veggies as they are frozen at the peak of freshness and have less spray residue.

3. Difference between Organic and Certified Organic.
Karla: Organic must be 98-99% organic and certified organic means the plant has been grown on land that has been free of pesticides for 3 years or more.

4. Girls wanting to dress older/act older.
Kimberly: Children’s brains are not fully developed, but we have introduced chemicals through foods that increase physiological development. This is very dangerous as they have the urges for maturity without the maturity to go along with it.
- Watch what they eat.
- Kids don’t become better decision makers unless we teach them how. Equip your child, rather than punishing them. ie. Don’t wear that shirt or you are grounded. Instead, talk about how a decision has benefits and costs.

5. Does your book cover the teenage years? Kimberly: Yes.

6. Do you offer one on one counseling? Kimberly: Yes.